My My's

Nurse Myah

2008-02-12T20:58:59Z

Well in two and a half years I will be a nurse! I got into the nursing progarm! Excited.

The Latest

2008-02-12T18:35:05Z

I put up some new pictures and some videos of Avi. I also put some up of last nights basketball game. Of course, the music being directed by Jason Wiltermuth. They say that at every game but yet I think every time the last name is pronounced differently. It makes me laugh. At least they try though. I was greeted by some of Jason's students as "Mr. Ws Wife." I guess my identity is now the wife off. Kind of like when I went to get my birth control prescription at the local pharmacy and the women helping me took it straight to the pharmacist saying just about load enough for the whole town to hear, "This is Jason Wiltermuth's wife's prescription. She says it is for birth control but I have never heard of it."

It is amazingly cold and windy today. We went to Alexandria while 94W was closed due to blizzard conditions. Opps I guess we should of checked the weather before we left.

Life is stressful these days. Jason has lots of work and after school activities. I have two tests to take tomorrow. Microbiology is giving me a challenge but I just discovered that the book has an online website with great resources. I am hoping this will help.

Avi is doing wonderful. When eating lunch today I swear she was flirting with everyone. She is developing quite the little personality. She now screams in a pitch that I don't think Jason's sopranos could hit. If you take something from her she shacks her whole body as if she is going to explode. It is really quit cute. Though I say all of this her temperament is still so good. She keeps us laughing and reminds us to slow down.

I cut nine inches off to donate. It feels freeing. What do you think?

http://s151.photobucket.com/albums/s151/wilterje/

To Feel Proud or Ashamed

2008-02-06T19:10:46Z

Well I went to my caucus last night so excited. I mean this is such an amazing time in our history. Though for my generation I don't think we ever doubted that we would see something other then a white rich man as a president. Though for many older then I this was a day they had never dreamed would come true. I am so proud of the fact that our country is finally moving forward. Across the nation we had record voters turn out but in the city of Clarissa it was pitiful! Do you want to know how many people came to my caucus? Fucking four. Jake and I were two out of that. Granted the town only has 600 people in it but fucking four. I was just plan out discusted. Jake told all of his seniors that they could vote if they were going to be 18 by election day. Not one showed up! So needless to say I had no difficulty becoming a delegate. I did also get a resolution passed stressing more importance of renewable energy and green practices. I am very glad to of taken part of the democratic system but I was ashamed to live in rural america. Most of our countries solidiers come from towns like mine. You would think people would care about the future of their sons and daughters. Hell or maybe even the fact that our economy is going to hell and people are really struggling to feed their families. Time and time again I get slapped in the face with the ignorance and complacency of my neighbors. On a day like today I just want the fuck out of here. I wish I could of felt the excitement and hope for the future that many felt yesterday. But I am left feeling trapped and ashamed.

On Being a Mother

2008-01-16T04:24:00Z

Been a long time. Life is busy now being a mom and student at the same time. Life is really good overall. Aviana is crawling all over the place now. She will be walking soon. I love being a mother. I had a dream the other night that another couple adopted her. I was watching this other mother take care of her and put her to sleep. I was sitting in her nursery and saw all of her stuff in this other house. It was the worst dream I have ever had. I can't tell you how horrible it felt.

The funny story for the day...I was changing Avi's diaper when she crawled away from me. I let her be for maybe thirty seconds to let her dry out. She had pulled herself up on some furniture. I looked over at her and saw a poop half way out. I did not know what to do. My first instinct was to put my hand under her. I then grabbed her dirty diaper but as it landed it rolled away. I got a wipe picked it up and went to get a diaper to put on Avi she then somehow reached for the wipe that was holding her poop and it went rolling again. Of course the whole time through this I was laughing hysterically.

Mid-Summer

2007-07-16T03:17:16Z

Well,we are renting a house which has been nice. It is a third of the
cost of our one bedroom in Las Vegas and about two blocks from main
street. It is an old farm house with all of its charm and needs of upkeep.

We have been traveling all around the state gathering our belongings
from our parents houses and any furniture that we can steel from
them. We had to leave all of ours in Vegas. We only brought back
what we could get in the car. So it has been hard starting over
again in that way.

I am adjusting to small town life. People come up to me and know
where I went to college and other things that I really have no clue
how they know but at least I don't have to tell everyone the same
thing over and over because they tell it to each other for me. The
pace of life has been nice. Their are a lot of Amish around here. I
love listening to them go by. Hearing the horse and carriage. Makes
me always slow down for some reason.

Jake and I are doing wonderful. It is pretty amazing the amount of
time we spend with each other, both not working for the summer and
we have yet to get too sick of each other. We are going to Duluth
next weekend for our first year anniversary.

Aviana is also doing wonderful. She is almost four months now. She
does so many new things every day. Yesterday was reaching out for
her binki, holding it and bringing it to her mouth. Last week she
started to rub her eyes when she is tired, so cute. She is almost
rolling over. She gets the bottom half of her body totally over but
can't get over that arm yet. Any day now. Jake is still working on
her saying dada but nothing yet, he he.

Well that is it for now. Hope all is well with everyone.

PS
Always more pictures if you want to see:
http://s151.photobucket.com/albums/s151/wilterje/

Minnesota Here I Am

2007-06-13T05:57:42Z

Hello Everyone,

Just a quick update on us. Jake took a job working in his home town. The middle/high school is a combination of Clarissa and Eagle Bend, MN. The school is very small but the band really should not be that much smaller then his current. Leaving Vegas was kind of bittersweet for Jake. He will really miss his students but not the administration. At his last concert Jake said his goodbyes and the students rushed him surrounding him in one big group hug. It was so neat. I was very proud of him. Their opinion is all that counts in the end. His students truly love him. He had several in tears on the last day of school. He also found out that at least five different parents wrote the principle to complain that he had been taken from Band Director. Out of the whole school he was the only one that got a Rave Reward which is nominated for by a parent. It was announced to all the staff. It was a great way to leave. He can truly know that he is a great teacher and made a different.

I flew in this morning with Avi. Jake is driving back tomorrow. We are going to be traveling around the state seeing everyone this summer. For now we are going to be staying with Jake’s mother in Clarissa till we are able to find our own place.

We traded in our two older cars for a newer one, 05‘ Pontiac Vibe. We now have reliable and safe transportation for the baby and AWD for those Minnesota winters we will be soon enjoying again!

I am doing much better. Still get tired easier and my body is having to get use to not having a gallbladder. I don’t process fat or spicy food the same.

Avi is doing wonderful. She is eleven pounds now, rolling on to her side, tracking, cooking and just starting to laugh. It is so fun to watch her grow and watch her personality unfold. She did wonderful on the flight, did not even wake up but to eat a little in the middle.

Well that is our update. Hope everyone is well. Looking forward to having everyone meet Avi and being back in MN.

Here are some new pics:
http://s151.photobucket.com/albums/s151/wilterje/
Love, Myah

Update

2007-05-16T22:06:15Z

Thanks to everyone for the good wishes. Please know that if you have sent a gift, e-mail or card for me or Aviana that they have not gone unnoticed. I do plan on getting thank you cards out but life has been so crazy. I thank everyone for your love and support the last couple months.

Here is a quick update. I go in for my colonoscopy tomorrow morning. They are doing it in the hospital because it has some higher risk due to my surgery. The fear is that the pressure from the colonoscopy could open my internal stitches from my colon where the appendix was taken. In that case they will have to take me to surgery. They have now said that the gallbladder was unrelated to the mass and appendix. It did have scaring on it from past inflammation and had gallstones. The scaring could be a sign of Cronhs Disease. They have also not been able to find the source of my bleeding but hopefully they will be able to do that tomorrow. I am nervous to hear the results but will be very glad to know what is actually wrong. Most of the unknown should be solved tomorrow in less they have to do a biopsy.

We have both been a mess. It is very hard when both partners are at the end of their rope. We o not have a whole lot to give to each other, when we both need each other the most. With time his is getting better. Our stress level is still amazingly high though. Between being a newly weds, having a brand new baby, my health, Jake losing his job, facing moving, our car killing all the time and not having functioning AC in 100 degree weather and the financial stain that all this has caused is more then one should really have at one time. I guess when it rains it pours.

We also have had several visitors lately and though having guests has been a distraction and help at times we are very much looking forward to some time with just the three of us to ground ourselves again. We will make sure to keep people up to date on my results. Please keep our family in your thoughts.

Health Update

2007-05-10T04:49:03Z

Hi All. Thanks for the for all the support. It was nice to get everyones good wishes. I had to go back into the hospital over the weekend for dehydration and pain management but I am doing a little better now. I am hoping to get my drain out tomorrow but I don't think they will take it. I am still putting out a lot of fluid. I still don't know what the mass in me is. I go in for the colonoscopy in a few weeks. I am living in the unknown for now. Life is really hard right now and I am struggling. I look forward to coming home this summer. Aviana is doing wonderful. She is starting to smile now but only for me :) I keep telling her she needs to smile at Daddy too! We are having a nice visit with my friend Maggie. She helped me clean my house today which has been so nice. I am looking forward to all the company leaving also. I just need some space. All of Jake's family are coming this weekend though. It will be interesting. I am nervous about it. We will see. I hope all is well with you.I will try to keep people updated.

Out of the Hospital after Nine Days

2007-05-04T07:32:05Z

Hello Everyone,

Some of you know of my current health issues and some do not. I have several e-mails asking for an update. So here is an overview of what has happened.

I went into the ER last Monday night with pain in my stomach. They did some test and found that I had gallstones and inflammation in my gallbladder. I was admitted to the hospital. My pain continued to act weird so the surgeon ordered a CT. He found that my appendix was also inflamed. They did surgery on Wednesday morning to remove both my gallbladder and appendix. When they were in their they found that a part of my bowel also looked inflamed. After surgery they ordered a second CT to investigate that inflammation. The results of the second CT were of concern. I have a golf size mass in my cecum which is in between your small and large bowel. I still have the drain in stomach to empty fluid from the inflammation of the cecum. The doctors don't think the mass is cancer due to the fact that I am so young and the mass being very smooth and round but it is a possibility. It is more likely to be anything from Diverticultis, Crohns Disease, a pollup or it may clear itself up by then. They just really don't know. The surgeon said he has never seen anything like this. The inflammation of my appendix and gallbladder look to be from the mass and did not originate from appendicitis. I was on two different IV antibiotics and they are being continued in pill for ten more days to make sure all infection is gone. I am unable to breast feed because of the drugs I am on. I am pumping in hope I will be able to return. I go see the surgeon on Monday and to see the GI doctor in two weeks. I will get a colonoscopy in three to four weeks in hopes to find out what the mass is once I have healed from the surgery. My pain is manageable with the drugs but I am still pretty uncomfortable. My mom left tonight but my friend Maggie is coming out on Monday night till Thursday to help me take care of Aviana with Jake having to get back to work.

I can't even describe how hard it has been for me to be away from Aviana and how happy I am to be back home with her and Jake. I am emotionally warn out and in need for some good sleep. I will try to keep in touch. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers.

Love, Myah

Aviana Danai Wiltermuth

2007-03-27T07:37:49Z

Aviana Danai Wiltermuth was born the morning of March 23rd. Everyone is doing well. Aviana is perfect. I am recovering from some uncaught ripping but am healing. Aviana is going to the pediatrician tomorrow for her first checkup. She was 6.5 lbs 17inches. She seems very healthy, sleeping, eating and pooing a lot. We are so ecstatic! I had a very easy and fast birth. I started going into labor at about 4ish on Thursday afternoon and Aviana arrived at 1:53am on Friday. The beginning went slow. I was five centimeters at 11pm and from their everything went fast. I arrived at the hospital complete and plus one station. She was delivered within 15 mins of me getting there. I shocked even my midwife and made a first for her by going from simply sitting up right on the bed to leaning backwards and delivering Aviana in one contraction without any pushing. Aviana was delivered by Jake, a nurse that came running from across the room and the midwifes one gloved hand! It was a very exciting entry for all. Some pictures.

http://s151.photobucket.com/albums/s151/wilterje

Aviana It Is

2007-02-26T20:46:18Z

It has been awhile sense I have wrote. I was having some serious problems with my blood pressure that took me to the hospital few week ago with a blood pressure of 180/100. They believe this is due to stress and over working myself at work. My doctors asked me to stop working. I had to resign from work due to the fact that I am still on probation for the first six months of working there. They can not offer me any kind of a medical leave till I am off of probation.

I am also having irregular heart beats but after lots of tests they say it is simply from extra blood flow and nothing to worry about. That has been a big relief. My blood pressure is still staying down now being home. I am getting very tired of being pregnant now. Sleeping is really hard. My hips give me a lot of pain at night. My body has started to do its last changes to get me ready for labor. It is truly an amazing process. Last week they said the baby was three weeks ahead in weight. I hoping this means she is going to come early rather then me having a ten pound baby. This is totally out of my control and all up to her. We have talks about the fact that she is not liking be so crowded as she kicks and pushes against me. I tell her that if she does not like it then she should plan on coming sooner then later. We will see if this lecture works or not.

Oh and on the name... we decided Aviana and for short Avi.

I helping Jake work on his resume and cover letter once again to try to get back to Minnesota again this year. It is a very draining process. I am going to apply to nursing school around MN too. We just want as many options open as possible.

In general life is good. Jake and I are doing great. Our life together has really started to settle into a comfort zone that I am loving. We of course can not wait for Aviana to be born. Each day life seems to be getting more exciting.

I hope all is well with everyone. Miss you.

Baby

2006-11-16T23:47:07Z

It's a Girl... I am nineteen weeks now and starting to show. My last ultra-sound was amazing. Got to see the baby suck her fingers and move around. I hope everyone is well. Will write more later.

The News of 10-17-06

2006-10-18T02:41:47Z

The pregnancy is getting easier the last couple of weeks. I am not having to pee as often which helps with getting sleep at night, am able to eat more foods and not feeling so tired. Baby is still doing well. I go in again in a couple of weeks.

I started my job yesterday. It is going well. It is a lot of physical work but fun. The day goes very fast which is nice. I am in a classroom with 6 severely profound handicapped kids. None of them are verbal and all are in diapers. They vary with diagnoses but all are mentally retarded. One is blind and deaf, one is blind, one has Down Syndrome, one has a congenital disease and will die very young, one is autistic with sever diabetes and so forth. It was all very overwhelming the first day but I think I am really going to enjoy the job. We have one teacher and two assistants with 6 kids so that is great. Some of their stories are overwhelming. One that is not blind was born with mental retardation but the mother beat her so badly that her retinas were detached. The one with autism is left in his room all day after school where he takes of his clothes and pees all over himself. He comes to school with an order that is hard to describe. We have showers that we use sometimes. They have many activates including swimming. They leave the school at least three times a week to do different things like bowling or eating in public. This is of course to help socialize them. We have a little farm at school with lots of goats, chickens and two horses!

Otherwise my life has been very busy helping Jake with marching band season. He is now holding rehearsals Tuesdays and Thursdays, plays at the football games and has competitions on Saturday. IT IS A LOT OF TIME! Jake is holding up well but I worry about him over working himself. But he is having no signs of a flare up. The show gets better every week. He is taking this weekend off from competition because it is homecoming but is still going to hold rehearsal on Saturday for the morning. Hopefully after this week the band will get caught up so they can go back to one night a week rehearsals.

Well that’s it for now. I will try to keep you updated on things.

Nothing too exciting.

2006-10-10T20:55:07Z

I am excited to start my job next week. The kids range from 6 to 22 and all have different disabilities from blindness to autism but most all are mentally retarded. I will be making at the lowest $10.66. That is not bad for Vegas. I will be in the classroom pared with a teacher. They do all daily living skills. I am excited to start but a little nervous. I think this will be a hard job but I think I will be good at it.

Jake had his first marching band performance last weekend. The kids are still pretty far behind but I think they are motivated now. They were able to see other bands thus seeing what they should look like. The freshman and sophomore had never seen a competition to know what they were really working for. The kids are fun but the season will take so much of Jakes time. He is going to be holding rehearsal Tuesday and Thursday night while having the pep band at the football games on Friday and competition all day Saturday all the way through November.

I have been a little depressed lately. So many changes in my life so fast. I am having a hard time catching up. I think things will get better when I start working here soon. Staying home all day alone does not help anything. I don’t know maybe this is normal with pregnancy or being a newlywed. It is still scary to me. I hate the feeling of loss of control of anything. I know though that I can do a lot of things to help myself right now and working on it.

Baby is doing great still. Due date is April 12th. We are hoping the baby will come before Spring Break so Jake will have more time home with the baby. I am starting to get bigger now.

Keep in touch.

mymy21 @ 2006-10-04T09:50:00

2006-10-04T17:00:50Z

Well I was going to use a picture but I am having some computer problems. I just thought I would tell everyone that I"M PREGNANT. Tomorrow I will be 13 weeks. We do not know the sex of the baby yet. Our names to date are Tristen for a boy and Lyanna for a girl. My health has been pretty good so far. I have had some issues but nothing too serious. The baby is growing and doing just fine. I got a job yesterday working at a special education school. Things are really good here in Vegas. We are really poor right now but that should get better fast. Otherwise nothing else new to report. Hope all is well with everyone. (Baby pictures to come!)

On Married Life

2006-09-03T18:05:58Z

Kat asked me how married life is and for the most part it is great. I have been living with Jake now for almost two years so things don't seem very different now being married. It does take a lot of work to keep the relationship healthy and honest. It is nice to be so comfortable with a person that you truly share a life with them. I love it. It is hard living in Vegas away from everyone we know. We have a couple of friends but really do need to meet more people. In a way I like it just being the two of us. We get to create a life for ourselves here and don't have to deal with old ideas held by others. It is kind of freeing. It is very exciting time for me. My life is changing in ways at times I don't know if I am ready for but I am not sure if you ever are. The change is welcomed though. I just feel so grownup sometimes and that scares me. The thing about Jake and I is that we don't have rules in our marriage that make me feel smothered. We are young and still want to experience new things but now we just do it together. In that way I don't feel like I am missing out on anything buy gaining partner to enjoy life with. With all of this sad I don't feel like the paper did much for us. The only thing it really did was help other recognize our love. But the commitment we shared has been their for a long time. I do love now calling him my husband. Their is a security in that. It is simply a feeling of going home.

Vegas Home Again

2006-09-03T00:45:48Z

Well back in Vegas. Jake did not get a job in MN. Things are okay here though. It is kind of nice being away and having time for just the two of us. Jake is working a lot though and I need to find a job soon. We got a nice apartment but have no furniture in it except a couch we took from the garbage (really is not that gross). We are sleeping on an air mattress and have two dinning room chairs with no table. With wedding gift the kitchen is set though. Bathroom is fine also. We really just need furniture and some more pictures to put on the wall. The cats are happy to be back in a calmer home. My brothers and grandpas was little too much activity for them. Oh Quincy died a few weeks ago. I miss that little guy. He died in his sleep for unknown reasons. It must be 110 degrees out today. Way too hot but the sun is nice. Our apartment has an amazing pool with a waterfall coming down into it. Very tropical feeling that I enjoy. My place is always open to visitors. If anyone is wanted a really cheap trip. Vegas flights are always cheap and you have a place to stay. Nothing else new here for now. I hope everyone is well. I miss you.

Pictures Finally

2006-08-20T21:05:38Z

Very happy couple.

Jake's sisters, mother and baby niece.

Augusta

My brother Dominic.

Wedding Party

Hayle Family

Best Pictures Ever

Just Fun

My mom and Jake.

Maggie and I being weird.

Jake and I.

The Big Moment

The Kiss

The Reception

The Dance

The Dancing Queen

TaDa!

Here is words from the ceremony if anyone would like to read...

Welcome
John welcomes when music ends.

Welcome to everyone here on this beautiful day. Let us take a few moments to recognize the Spirit of the Earth and the peaceful presence of the Silence Within.

We gather as family and friends, here by the waters of Lake Superior, each bringing with us our sacred intent to celebrate the love and commitment of Myah Hayle and Jason Wiltermuth.

Please gather in as we make a circle of love and support.

Invocation (Kelly and John)

We call upon all that we hold most sacred, the earth our planet home, with its beautiful depth and soaring heights, its vitality and abundance of life.

We call upon the mountains, the green mountains and the white, and the high valleys and meadows filled with wild flowers, the snows that never melt, the summits of intense silence.

We call upon the waters that rim the earth, horizon to horizon, that flow in our rivers and streams, that fall upon our gardens and fields, that fill our ponds and pools.

We call upon the land which grows our food, the nurturing soil, the fertile our fields, the abundant gardens and orchards.

We call upon the forests, the great trees reaching to the sky with earth in their roots and heaven in their branches, the fir and the pine, the cedar and the maple.

We call upon the moon and the stars and sun, which govern the rhythms and seasons of our lives and remind us that we are part of a great and wondrous universe.

We call upon all those who have lived on this earth, our ancestors and our friends, who dreamed the best for future generations, and upon whose lives our lives are built.

Lastly we call upon you the family and friends to call this energy that echoes from the earth through our bodies to bless this couple today.

Recognition of Community

We are interdependent beings. As humans we flourish in the care of one another. Our bonds need also to be recognized, cherished and supported. Part of a commitment ceremony involves the couple asking for the loving support of their friends and family as they move through time together. Myah and Jake will need our attentiveness as individuals and also for their relationship as they face the challenges of living and growing.

At this time we assure Jake and Myah that we will be there for them individually and as a couple. Please repeat after me: As your family and friends we offer you our support. We honor the commitment made here this day. We pledge our time and energy to help sustain you. So be it.

Music
Emma sings “Don’t Fade Away”

Reading
Mitch will read a poem.

John and Kelly Intro to Vows
The vows made by two people who share intent to live their lives together are an expression of their belief in the blessings of love.

These are the underpinnings of sustaining strength, it is the giving and receiving of grace it is the connections within and without, it is that which calls us to grow.

Myah and Jake, What vows do you make today.

Vows
For the health of myself and our relationship I NAME commit to foster my individuality and responsibility for nurturing my physical, mental and spiritual essence.

I will continue to honor the past of both myself and you and celebrate the journey to the present.

I will surrender to be in the present to be able to experience the richness of life.

I will share the responsibility for growth and enrichment of our lives together and to give you NAME all my loving to support help you to become the person you are destined to be.

John and Kelly Closing of Vows
May these vows enrich and sustain and encourage you throughout your lives together.
Music
Vasilli plays.

Blessing
May you feel connected to the vibration and rhythms of life.
May your internal universe unfold and expand before you with grace and wonder.
May your happiness and love flow to and from you and with whom you share your heart and home.

Tree Reading

You may have noticed this beautiful tree next to us throughout the ceremony. This is here because it has special meaning for Jake and Myah. Today Myah and Jake have requested support and energy from the Earth and from family and friends. This tree symbolizes a way for Jake and Myah to return that energy to the world. They plan to plant it as an offering to the Earth for future generations. It is also a symbol of a new beginning. As our ceremony ends, please come forward and sprinkle the tree with water to symbolize your giving of support and acknowledging this new beginning.

In closing, let me say to Jason and Myah: henceforth we shall know you as husband and wife.

KISS

mymy21 @ 2006-07-23T18:57:00

2006-07-23T23:57:17Z

I'm married. Pictures to come!

Goodbye Las Vegas, Hello Minneapolis

2006-06-14T19:09:49Z

I am back in the good state of Minnesota! The 24 hour drive with two cats and one guinea pig is now over.

Life is Crazy

2006-05-20T17:34:24Z

Well I am done with school, have a week and half left of work. The count down has began... The wedding is coming so fast. I still have a ton to do but things are moving. Life has been so busy. I just can't wait to have things slow down some so that I can enjoy this time. I hope everyone is well. I miss home but not much longer. I should be in town around June 15th. I am not sure even what to write. Their is almost to much to say to write any of it. So I guess I won't.

The Wedding is Now in Duluth

2006-04-09T22:13:29Z

Hey. It has been soo long sense I have been on. I hope everyone is well. Life has been SO busy and my computer died. I am looking forward to going to San Fran again on Tuesday for spring break. It is going to be very nice to get a break from work. It has been very stressful but in good news I may have a new job here soon.

The main reason I came on was to let everyone know that my wedding location has changed. Jake and I are now getting married in the Rose Garden in Duluth. The reception is at Fitgers Brewery. The date is the same, July 22, 2006.

Oh how I miss my days of doing nothing...

2006-03-02T03:45:33Z

You know, 15 one year olds really has a way of making your tired at the end of the day. I love them but oh my god does my body hurt. So does working a forty hour job (some time more) and going to school part time (16 hours of class time a week). Some how on top of all of that I need to get things done like plan my wedding and clean my hourse and go shopping for some important things like cat litter. For now I am going to bed. Maybe tomorrow this will not be so overwhelming.

I HAVE A JOB!

2006-02-07T21:35:16Z

My finances are out of control. Debt is eating me alive. Good news is that I FINALLY got a job offer. I can’t start working for a little bit because I have to get a pretty extensive background check. I am going to be a teacher in a childcare center/preschool. I am the TOTS(age 1-2) teacher. I am very excited about this. The babies are so cute. It is such a fun age. They have not turned into little monsters yet (ie the terrible twos). They love learning and exploring but still like to cuddle and be babies. I am starting at $9.50 an hour and after three months get full benefits. I don’t need benefits though because I get them through Jake. I think I should be able to opt out and get paid more. Somehow I don’t think that will fly. But this is good.

Other good news about my finances is that substantial tax refunds are coming and Jake is getting his half of the year stipend for after school activities on Friday. So this will allow me to get my credit card bills down and some bills paid! But till Friday rice and beans it is.

I just had a killer therapy session. The kind that knock you on your feet. I feel so confused about everything right now. I did an exercise where I had to talk to an empty chair and pretend that the man that raped me was in it. I had to tell him(the chair) how the raped affected me, how I felt about him, ask him questions, ect. It was really weird at first but then the feelings start to flow. In any case it was rough on me. Next week Jake is going to come. That will be good but it makes me nervous. I feel like currying up in the fetal positions right now. I think I will go curl up in bed and watch a movie. I need to be numb for a little bit.

mymy21 @ 2006-02-03T19:41:00

2006-02-04T03:41:57Z

Life=Sucks